April 2021

What do I do

April 2, 2021
I got a question on Instagram from a guy who said he likes to watch my stream sometimes. He asked me what I do when I go away and “have a normal life” sometimes.

I realize I do say this a lot and I’d like to explain what I mean.

After being online for my entire adult life, and being more or less popular for a few years I’ve become super paranoid. This is due to a couple of delusional people who has invaded my privacy and overstepped personal boarders. These people (who I can count on one hand) has similar attributes. They all claim to be in love with me. They’re convinced I’d love them too if I ever met them. They get aggressive and start threatening me when I turn them down. And they stay around forever in my DMs, basically having a conversation with themselves. One day they love me and the next day they hate me and claim I ruined their life. I never answer these guys and I try my best to immediately ban them if I see them in my Twitch chat. Like I said, they’re delusional and they think the world revolves around them. They think everything I do is a sign to them. They think everything I say is about them.

Wow.

I’d like to give these guys the blame for my paranoia. They have invaded my privacy in a way that I no longer want to share my private life with people on the internet. It’s so unfair because 99,9% of people I come across only wants what’s best for me and just want to follow me on my journey. Most people know where the line is drawn.

I want to be able to share my life to those 99,9% of healthy nice guys without being scared of having my privacy invaded but I need to stay realistic.

I made some promises to myself. They are pretty hard to keep because I am such an open person, but I try. I promised never to talk about my plans on livestream and instead talk about what I’ve been doing and what I’ve done in the past. I don’t have many routines, but I try to not mention my routines too much so my whereabouts can be easily calculated. I try not to mention my travel plans too much. I try to not mention my family at all.

I think all of the above is things that are better kept private for anyone who sets their foot online. Even if you only have a Facebook page for your friends.

That’s the reason why I sometimes say “I’m going to go have a normal life for a while”. That’s because I don’t want to go into detail with what my plans are for me, my friends and my family’s safety and privacy.

To answer this guy on Instagrams question - I work out. I take walks. I hang out with my friends. I hang out with my family. I celebrate birthdays. I party. I go snowboarding. I play video games. I have date nights. I cook. I barbecue. I go shopping. I travel. I listen to music. I have a normal life!

Here’s some pictures of me celebrating New Years like a normal person that’s having a normal life.
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